November Morning
by sunnymadden
Summary: Scout's thoughts and what goes on after Halloween night.
1. Chapter 1

The November morning light streamed through my bedroom window. I didn't sleep very good. Who could with all that happened? The scene in the woods plays through my mind over and over again. The sight of my injured brother making me sick to my stomach. The joy of meeting Boo for the first time.

My poor Atticus. He warned us that this trial would be a life changer but I doubt he expected this. Who could have known?

I creep through the hall into my brother's room where he has been staying. I creek the door open to find him lying next to Jem on his good side. Attcius has just kissed him on the cheek and gave him a hair massage. He turns around to find me at the doorway and he climbs out of the bed.

"Hey, Atticus," I say as he puts my face in his hands and gives me a kiss.

"Good morning, Baby. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am okay, Atticus."

"Calpurnia is here. Why don't you get some breakfast."

"Okay. I am a little hungry," I say turning on my heels heading to the kitchen. I can smell the hot buttermilk biscuits in the oven. Yummy, my favorite!

"Scout!" I hear as a reach my destination.

"Miss Scout," Calpurnia says with a joyous look on her face.

"Hey, Cal…" I say as I hear someone again calling for me.

"Oh my goodness, It's Jem!"


	2. Chapter 2

"She's okay, she's okay," I heard Atticus reassuring him as soon as I reached his door. I swung it open to find Atticus holding him down as thrashed around on the bed.

"Jem wake up. You're safe. Nobody's going to hurt you here."

"Atticus is right, Jem, open your eyes," I order as I climb on the bed.

He did open his eyes as soon as he heard my voice. His eyes were distant and he looked like hell. Mr. Ewell beat him hard. Of course his arm was broken but he had bruises and cuts all across his face and neck. Big patches of blue and purple. A little slit under his right eye tells me he must of knifed him, as well.

"Son," Atticus says grabbing Jem's face. "Listen, you're okay. I'm here, your sister's here, Cal's here. We love you."

"Mama!"

Mama? Did he just say Mama?

"I saw her, Atticus," Jem says looking more alert and alive. "She was in the woods. She was with Scout, holding her back when Mr. Ewell went after her. That was until, a man came out and stopped him and then when she reckoned she was safe, she came sat by me. She was hugging me. I wasn't afraid because I knew who she was. Just like I remember her."

"Oh my Lord," Calpurnia gasped. I forgot she was standing at the doorway with me.

"What's for breakfast, Cal?" Jem asked in all seriousness. All three of us couldn't help but chuckle for a minute.

"God bless you, Child," she walked over and gave him a kiss on his bruised cheek. "I got some Cream of Wheat and buttermilk biscuits."

"That sounds great, Cal. You got honey for the biscuits?"

"Sure do, Mister Jem."

Who cared about breakfast? Jem saw Mama. Did that mean he actually died? Did she talk to him? What did her voice sound like? Not fair! I want to see Mama!


	3. Chapter 3

"Who was Mama, Atticus?"

"Jean Louise, finish what you're eating before you talk," Aunt Alexandra scolded. Yeah, okay.

"What do you mean, Scout?" Atticus asks in reply, keeping his mind on my question.

"I mean, I want to know more than she was a Graham from Montgomery and died of heart problems. I don't even know her name Atticus. You never even so much as mention her."

There was silence at the table. Cal looked up the pot she was cooking in, Aunt Alexandra gave me a dirty look and Atticus just sat there kind of cold. Maybe I came of harsh but she was my mother, I deserved to know about her.

"Her name was Kerry Graham. Her mother, your grandmother, Maureen Graham, was Irish. She came from County Kerry, Ireland, hence your mother's name. She had a brother and a sister who died in infancy making her an only child. Paul, your grandfather, killed himself after his son was born and Maureen raised your mother all by herself, cleaning houses," he stops to take a sip of coffee. This is tough for him, cause he can't even look at me.

"She was a beautiful girl. She had dark brown hair just like you, she had blue eyes just like you, you remind me so much of her."

"Where'd you meet her?"

"Jean Louise, don't you think you're pushing it?"

"Sister, it's okay. She was in town with her mother. Her mother got a job cleaning for Robert and Ann Witherspoon, you know the couple who ran the grocery store on Washington St?"

"I reckon I do."

"Well, your mother got herself a job there as a clerk. I went in there quite often for groceries."

There was a knock on the door on that note. I told them I would get it. It happened to be Miss Maudie. She was wearing V-neck dress that would make Uncle Jack swoon for sure if he were here.

"Good morning, Miss Maudie," I greeted as she stooped to hug me.

"Good morning, Scout. How are you, honey?"

"I'm okay. Just got done with breakfast."

"Hello, Maudie," Atticus said coming up to the door.

"Hello, Atticus. I came by to see how Jem is doing."

"Well he's in his room if you want to see him," he says taking her by the arm and leading the way.

"Who is it, Atticus?" Jem called from his bedroom.

"It's Maudie, son."

I walked into the room with them and saw the tears well up in her eyes as she spotted him. All I saw was he had no problem finishing not one but two breakfast plates. Nothing ever ceased to amaze me quite like a hungry man's appetite. She sat down on the bed and gave him a kiss on the forehead. I couldn't help but grin at the fact he was looking down her dress.

"I'm so sorry, Sweetie. How do you feel?"

"I feel pretty beat up."

"You look it, too," the words just falling out of my mouth. Atticus shot me a look.

"Gee, thanks Scout," Jem shot back rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Tell you what? I'll make you a big, giant cake," she said rubbing his head.

"A chocolate one? With buttercream frosting?!"

"Whatever you like, Jem," she said chuckling.

"Hmmm… I could get used to this!"


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the day went by relativley normal after Miss Maudie had left. I lounged around the house and just kind of enjoyed myself. I needed quiet time, I was expected to go back to school in the morning. Jem was to stay home until further notice.

I woke up at seven, got dressed, combed my hair, and went to the kitchen for breakfast.

"Don't forget today you got to take a bath and wash your hair," Calpurnia reminded me.

"I'll remember, Cal," I relpied with a mouthful of waffle.

"Don't talk with your mouth full! How many times do me and your aunty have to remind you?"

I rolled my eyed behind her back. Between her and Aunt Alexandra I was going to explode. Don't talk with your mouth full, don't slouch, don't get sassy. They could go on and on forever.

"I gotta go, Cal," I run to grab my books and head out the door.

"Have a good day!"

The school yard was already filled with kids by the time I got there. Skipping rope, playing kickball, just sitting on the school steps talking. I noticed some of the kids giving me wierd looks as I walked by. News sure does travel fast around here. I sit on one of the steps by myself, not bothering to socialize because the bell would ring any minute.

"Hey, Scout!"

"What you want, Cecil?"

"Heard about what happened to ya last night. So what happened? Did you clobber Ewell like you clobbered me?"

"No, Cecil. I stopped fighting remember?"

"You don't fool me. You ain't no girl, you're a boy trapped in girl's body."

"Fine, go drool over Pumpkin Sharkey since you love her so much!"

"You leave Ellen alone!"

"See! You're the only one who calls her by her real name! I got one, too, you know!"

"Ellen's a lady and you ain't! Which means you don't deserve proper recignition!"

I looked around and saw people were starting to stare at me and Cecil, including Pumpkin. I was all of a sudden embarrassed for her. For myself to for that matter. Damn you, Cecil Jacobs! Thank God the bell finally rang.


	5. Chapter 5

"How was school, Scout?" Jem asked as he heard me walk into the door. I threw my books and coat on the living room chair; I didn't care if I got scolded for it later. I was just happy to be home and away from that hell hole they call a school. I made a beeline for my brother's room and plopped myself in the chair next to his bed.

"Hell," I replied.

"That bad, huh?" He's chuckling now.

"Shut up! I'm so sick of people and their ignorant judgements of me!"

"Woah, woah, woah. Chill out, Scout," he was raising his good hand at me. "I only asked you a question."

"I'm sorry, Jem. I'm just in a bad mood. It all started with Calpurnia; she's getting on my nerves. Then I go to school just to be harrassed by that dingbat Cecil Jacobs and he's mad at me because I called him out on his crush on Pumpkin..."

"Ellen Sharkey?"

"Yeah, you know, Emilie's little sister?"

"Yeah."

Emilie was a year older than Jem but all the guys in the high school were hot for her, just as most of the guys in my grade, anyway, had a thing for Ellen or Pumkin. Atticus would kill me if he knew I noticed this but I saw him checking out their mom, Olga, before, walking down the main street in town. I guess it's safe to say that if you were a Sharkey girl, you best be a looker.

"Well, anyway, so Pumpkin overhears this and tells all her friends what I had said."

"Really?"

"Yeah and bad news for me since that's like all the girls in my class. It shouldn't matter, they don't really care for me anyway, those girls. I think I scare them. I don't care about my hair being perfect or having the prettiest dresses or who may or may not have a crush on me."

"Scout, you're okay the way ya are. If they don't like it tough."

"You sound like a tougher version of Atticus."

"Well, hey you'll catch up one day. Every girl blends in with the other girls sooner or later. I've seen them."

"If you say so," I can't help but grin. There were times when my brother could be a real pain in the ass. Yet, there were also times where he would make me feel better about myself and life in general. I get up and give him a hug being careful not to touch his bad arm. He hugs me back the best he can.

"Scout! You know better than to leave your school things scattered all over the place! Come pick up your books and coat now!"

"Yes, Cal," I roll my eyes as Jem laughs. One more strike against me.


	6. Chapter 6

"Okay, Cal, I'm ready," I say dunking my head under the kitchen sink.

"Well, hold on Miss Scout, I got to go get the shampoo."

I am almost afraid of letting Cal wash my hair. The way she's been on me lately this is probably her dream come true, dunking my head under water for a long period of time. I don't understand why she needs to help me with this anyway. I am eight years old and I'm pretty sure I can wash my own hair by now.

I turn the water on warm as soon as she walks in the shampoo she bought from Main St. Drugstore. I helped her pick it out; I loved the lavender fragrance. I wince through the hard massage as suds form from my head and drip into the fawcet. Nothing new here as this is the treatment I always got from her washing my hair. I always breathed a sigh of relief when it was time to rinse.

"There you are, Scout," she wraps the towel over my head and she gives me a kiss on the cheek. Another thing she has always done, giving me a kiss after a wash or bath.

"Now, I already done got the bathtub ready for you. You can wash your body on your own," Cal says escorting me to the bathroom anyway.

"Thanks, Cal," I say almost ecstatic about having some privacy. I need to relax. I take off my newly soaked clothes and hop into the warm water which feels like heaven to me. I reach over agrab the honey scented bar soap and lather my whole body with it. As suds form all around me, I feel the day wash off me too.

"Well, that Miss Jean Louise, she's just jealous of me, you know!"

'Oh, shut up Pumpkin!' I think to myself. The scenes of the day keep flashing through my mind.

"At least your daddy knows his place unlike hers!"

And believe it or not, that did not come out of Cecil Jacob's mouth. Mary Peterson is Pumpkin's best friend and she did not care if I overheard her rude comments about Atticus. She is a nasty little thing and so isn't Elizabeth Jenkins who just sits there and nods with everything Pumpkin and Mary say. I have another Mary in my class but she's like Agnes Boone, they just get quiet and look at me with apathetic eyes. Tears are falling down from mine, speaking of eyes.

"Scout, you almost out?"

"Yes, Atticus," I let the water drain out as I wrap the towel around me. A brush through my hair, a night shirt over my head, I'm rolling. Atticus is in the living room reading the paper as usual. I go over to him and give him a hug.

"I love you, Atticus."

"I love you, too, sweetheart," he says looking up from the paper and kisses my cheek. "You're a good girl."


	7. Chapter 7

"Help me!"

I am in my classroom as Cecil Jacobs sneaks up behind me and covers my mouth with his hand. The lights go out; I can't see anything. Fear and adrenaline rush through my body.

"Better enjoy this Scout," I recognize that voice, it's Pumpkin. "This is as close as you're going to get to a boy getting anywhere near your nasty mouth!"

"Ewww," Mary says. "Better go wash your hands, Cecil!"

"Never know what kind of colored disease she's got," Elizabeth says in agreement.

What's going on? Are they going to hurt me? Don't they realize what I've been going through? I don't deserve this.

A rush of courage replaces my fear but my adrenaline doubles. I swipe Cecil's hand of my face and push my desk away from me so I can escape. I start to run through the darkness, I run the fastest I've ever ran. I don't care what's in the dark but I know I just got to find a way out.

I find a door and stumble into daylight. I look around to find nobody behind me. A rush of calm comes over me as I pick myself off and walk home. I feel on top of the world, I have conquered them. They have no power over me. I go home the way I always do only to knock into someone. I look up only to find Tom Robinson looking down on me.

"Sorry, Mr. Robinson," I apologize.

"You're okay, Miss Finch," he says picking me up and hugging me.

"Scout," I hear Atticus murmur to me.

"What?" I just now realize I had been dreaming. Atticus is holding me just as Tom had held me in my dream.

"You were screaming, honey. You scared me," he tells me as he sits down on my bed with me still in his arms. I love Atticus' hugs. I feel nothing can hurt me when he holds me.

"I didn't mean to, Atticus. Your cheeks are wet. Did I make you cry? I'm sorry if you cried because of me."

"You really did scare me," I can hear him start to cry again. "I feel so bad for you, honey. I absolutely did not want you to go through all that you have."

"What about Jem?"

"Honey," he turns away from me. For some reason he can't look at me right now. This is never good. "Jem woke up with chest pains. I ran into his room and he told me not to worry that he was going to be with his mother."

"Oh, no," I can't take this. I know what this means. The same family heart disease that killed my mother killed my brother. I know that this is not a bad dream. I know my brother has died.


	8. Chapter 8

My beautiful brother was still laid upon his bed the next morning. I walked in to see the morning sunlight shining on him. He looked so at peace, I couldn't help but smile. I climb into the bed next to him and wrap my arms around him. His cold body doesn't bother me in the least. I was just happy to be near to him and give him a kiss on his cheek.

"Miss Scout," Cal says standing in the doorway with a bucket of soapy water.

"Yes, Cal," I reply with respect.

"I gotta clean him up, baby," she says it so sad and soft spokenly that I feel pity for her. I get out of his bed and reach on my tip toes to give her a kiss.

"I love you, baby," she says squatting to give me a recipricol kiss.

"Love you, too, Cal."

In that moment, I heard Aunt Alexandra sob. She starts to walk in the bedroom with a hankercheif covering her face. She always loved being dramatic and I was peeved off she had almost knocked me over in the process. No, I wasn't going to get angry at her, not today. She finally removed the hankercheif and stared at Jem. She then throws herself on Jem and sobs some more. Cal puts down the bucket and tries to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Alexandra," Cal says putting her arms around her.

"I loved him so," she says through the heaves.

"Sister," Atticus says standing in the doorway. I run to him and wrap my arms around his waist as he begins to rub my back. "Jack's coming up."

"Oh, Uncle Jack!" I was excited now. I always loved my Uncle Jack.

"I knew you'd be happy," he gives me a little smile. He is being the rock of strength I always knew and admired.

"Oh, Brother," Aunt Alexandra lets herself go from Cal and gives her brother a hug. Atticus was trying so hard to be strong and she has now caused him to breakdown. I saw the tears fall from his eyes. How I hated her in that moment.

"What time are people coming to see him?" Cal asks wiping her own tears and returning to her bucket.

"Three o'clock," Atticus replies letting go of Aunty. "We better get out of here and let Cal clean him.

"Okay," I say already walking out. The situation was becoming too overwhelming for me. I walk into the living room and plop down on the sofa. It was quiet here and comfortable. I bury my face in my hands and let the tears flow. I hated this day, this month, this year. Hell, I started to hate my life.

"Get up, honey," Atticus comes to me giving me a hair massage.

"I hate this, Atticus," I say not budging.

"I do too," he says not budging, either.

I look up at him and try to smile through the tears. He is smiling back at me. Through all the pain, there is love. In my young mind, I already understood this.


	9. Chapter 9

Like I said before, neighbor's bring food with death. By the time it was all over we had enough food to sink a ship. Heck Tate's wife baked a couple of her famous angel food cakes, Miss Maudie made a huge lane cake and various other people brought homemade bread, fruit baskets, and salads. I wasn't hungry for any of it.

I changed into my pajamas and hopped right into bed after everyone left. I was sad, overwhelmed, and exhausted. I felt like a big mess inside my body. How was I supposed to deal with this? First I had to learn to live without mama and now I had to learn about living without my brother. At least I was too young to remember mama, I got a chance to grow up with Jem. I hit my face against my pillow and tears of rage came over me.

"Scout," I heard someone say knocking on my door.

"What do you want?"

"Can't Uncle Jack say good night to his neice?"

"I guess so," I say wiping away my tears. He comes into my room and turns on the light. He must have known I wasn't in the mood to see anyone because he shut the door tight. He sits down beside me and takes a hankercheif out of his pocket and wipes my eyes with it.

"I'm okay."

"I know, sweetheart," he says kissing my cheek.

"I don't like to cry."

"It's good to cry," he puts away the hankercheif and takes my face in his hands. "If you never cry, you'll never know how good it feels to smile."

"I want to smile, but I just can't."

"Nobody's expecting you too."

"I want to though."

"Give it time," he envelopes me in a bear hug. He is a close second to Atticus when it comes to giving good hugs. Before I know it he suprises me with a tummy tickle. He knows I lose it everytime someone does this to me, I could laugh forever. I feel like I do. It has been so long since I laughed that way. The more I laugh, the more he keeps it up.

"See I told you to give it time!"

"Stop!" I exclaim not being able to take it any longer. I actually have a stomach ache from laughing so hard.

"Okay, truce," he says letting me go. I position myself back on the bed when he starts to rub my forehead.

"I love you, Uncle Jack."

"I love you, too, Jean Louise," he says getting up and giving me another kiss.

I roll over on my side to face the window as Uncle Jack steps out. It was a nice night out with the moon and stars. I like to think Jem and Mama are among those stars. Or maybe even in the moon. Yeah, the moon, it gives out more light. Maybe if I pray hard enough maybe the moon will shine down love onto me tonight.


	10. Chapter 10

The same bright moon shines in my bedroom now only twenty years later. My husband lies next to me peacefully asleep. I roll over to him and kiss his cheek. He has been an absolute God send to me. He has been with me since before my brother's death, Halloween, and Tom Robinson's "rape" trial. You didn't think I would end my story without mentioning Dill, did you?

Turns out he's a man of his word. All those years ago he said we were going to get married someday. That someday was five years ago. Atticus was there to give me away. I have never seen him so proud of me. He was beaming all the way down the aisle, proudly said "I do," when the minister asked who was giving me away and the way he took my face in his hands after lifting my veil, giving me a kiss on the cheek just like he did when I woke up that November morning.

I had a baby nine months to the day after our wedding. A baby girl we named Kerry Jean Harris. She was a beautiful baby with her daddy's white duckfluff hair and hazel eyes that could hypnotize anybody. I say she looks like Dill; but then again she does have my spitfire personality. A little devil with angel eyes.

I was startled by the sound of my newborn crying. The sound bolts my husband out of his deep slumber. My baby has a strong set of lungs. I laugh at the scenario.

"Want me to get him?" Dill offers still half asleep.

"No, it's okay, I've been awake," I say giving Dill a kiss on the lips.

I get out of bed and walk down the hall into my son's bedroom. Flipping on the light, I take a look around the nursery. We painted the room blue for him. It took a long time to paint over the pink that had engulfed Kerry's nursery. Yet we kept the same white cradle for him though. Peeping into the cradle, he looks at me and stops crying.

"You just wanted your mommy didn't you?" I say picking my son up and carrying him to the rocking chair. I am exhuasted but I wouldn't trade this time for anything. Jeremy is going to be a mama's boy for sure. Just rocking back and forth, being near my breast calms him right down. He is as beautiful as my brother, with whom he shares his name. He makes a little cooing noise that makes it sound as if he talking to me.

"I love you, too, honey," I say giving him a kiss on his baby lips.

"Hey, mama," Kerry sleepily says walking into the room.

"Hey, Boo," I say patting my lap. She immeadiatley walks over to me and sits on my lap. I give her a kiss on the head as my husband walks in. He is so sexy standing there with his blond hair ruffled from sleep and wearing nothing but pajama pants. He is staring at us with a look of love that is making me melt. I look at him, my beautiful daughter, and angelic newborn son and think what a lucky woman I've grown up to be.


End file.
